There

Gave a thought about a friend who lives on the edge with her income, saving and spending on travels and not leaving a speck behind by the end of the year.

Then gave a thought to another friend who managed to wharf out all 3000 every month on shoppings and food, for an entire year, year after year, and gave no thought to that rainy day.

Or this friend who has a credit card debt three times her salary. Wondering how she is going to clear that up. Or a friend's friend who's actually a freelance, but with a credit card debt ten times my salary. That could take forever, or just a few years to clear, I'd like to think.

Then I thought about myself. Always too careful, always wary, always wondering, pondering, giving a doubt. Always that rainy day, always just in case, always not believing a better tomorrow, instead of a future full of just-in-cases. Everything into one pot, everything seemingly fleeting. Gone in the next minute. They can go, and I will be left with nothing.

Then I thought about Japan.

And I thought of its hardship.

And I thought about people losing everything, all that they have and all that they have saved. In a wave. Gone.

Everynight, I sit before the TV, watching news after news live and recorded from Japan, through Astro, through some China channels my parents installed. Looking at women and child queuing up for two bananas and some rice, at guys who drove miles to take a shower as a public washing area, traffic jams leading up to the petrol station for a limited of 10-liter petrol each, grandma and grandson trapped and survived on yogurt alone for 10 days.

It's a lot to think about. It's a lot to process, no conclusion, never a final thought, just a chain of relentless opinions.

Love. Life. Money. Security. Future. Past. Present. Friends. Food. Health. Family. Death. Travel. Luxury. Clothes. Insurance.

etc.

I have a lot on my mind lately.