Club Med Bali: A Birthday Surprise

I'm a very romantic person.

I admit.

A hopeless romantic.




I spent my life planning for others, especially to those I love and treasure.

Birthdays are very important to me. As a young kid I never really had the birthday party I wanted, except for this year when I was nine (and at the age of 23), and my mom threw me a huge party for me and my classmates. But sadly for me, and unknown to my parents, I wasn't the most popular person in school, and little did they know, I have to once give up my prized possesion that year because the popular girls in class threatened to make everyone not attend my birthday party.

You know the whole elementary drama. Yea I went through it. And wanting to have a 'birthday' desperately, I gave in and gave up part of my dignity, all at the tender age of nine.




Every since then, Birthday became the most important date in the whole year for me, following with Valentines and Anniversary.

So, lucky for my baby, every year I would spend months planning a birthday surprise for him(so far, it's been two years).

Unlucky for me, he wasn't a very romantic person, as much as he tried to be. :(

He still doesn't understand why I was upset when he got me chocolates for our last Christmas (when I got him five sets of Gap shirts and jeans).
Nor would he understand why I was upset the same reason that same year when he got me the same birthday cake I got for him with two bars of chocolates for my birthday (he did make up for a short trip half a year later, but it hardly felt the same, if you know what I mean).


When in the first year, I've gotten him this surprise.







A secret surprise 3D2N getaway to secluded part of Thailand in a undiscovered romantic villa on a man-made farm.

Read Part 1

Part 2

Part 3 here.


But of course, I've made peace with this fact and myself more than a year ago and knew that I couldn't expect from others the same way I expected from myself.

In some ways, he makes up for his lack of sensitivity in gifts with other parts of his goods. He's a very attentive person for example, more so than any guy I've known; after going through much experience and much arguments in the past two years, of course. He's a lovable partner to have, despite the constant naiveness and innocence in him. He cooks. hallelujah. He cleans (once I nag) even though he's not the cleanest person I know, and not the tidiest either (and I thought I was messy). He's hardworking, really hardworking. And most importantly, he treats my family well (even though I have to teach him to get visiting gifts when he first met them).




I suppose I could go on and make a longer list here but something happened recently has caused doubts in me. And sadly, I've forgotten a lot of the wonderful traits and I'm still trying hard to recall. But that's another story for another time.


Last year, on his birthday, I bought two tickets to Bali for us for a 5D4N holiday in Club Med Bali.



















What's installed for him?

You just have to wait and find out then. ;)

First Firkin Friday FebRUEry Fourth

recent headline: stocked freezer keeps mom sane

Or more sane than she would have been if her freezer hadn't been well-stocked...

I remember taking these photos after the first-- or was it the second or third-- storm of the winter? Anyway, it was back when the Southern Californian in me still thought that snow was this novelty. Even after 10+ years on the East coast, there's something peaceful and beautiful about a storm, when looking at it from the coziness of my home. I was relishing the snow days as times to sit by the fire with my boys, drinking hot cocoa and listening to it crackle as they played Legos or turned our recycling stuff into cool sculptures and I went through long neglected to-do piles.

Anyway, that was several storms ago. I am totally over the excitement, and quite frankly, feel pretty darn scattered. It's been virtually impossible to make a commitment to get to a yoga class... and while I always have to make three meals a day, for some reason having everyone dependent on me 24-7 is taking its toll. The saving grace has been a well-stocked freezer. Cooking once, and packing meals away is always a bonus in my book. But when you are snowed in with the kids (again) and dinner is taken care of, it really makes a difference. Trust me.

In anticipation of the next storm (don't shoot the messenger), here are a few of my favorite freezer-friendly meals. Each one pairs perfectly with a nice, big glass of wine:

Homemade Beef Ragu

Chicken Enchiladas or Enchiladas Verdes (and here's the video for a play-by-play on this recipe)

Polenta & Soy Chorizo "Lasagna"

Black & Pinto Bean Cakes

Sloppy Joe's

Beef & Bulghur Meatballs
Meatballs (more "traditional" ones, that can be eaten as is or popped on spaghetti)

Lamb & Pistachio Meatballs with Yogurt Sauce

Greens & Cheese Pie (similar to Spanakopita)

Turkey Chili

Vegetarian Barley Stew with Greens

Hearty Bean Soup (buy a packet of dried beans at your local market and follow along)

Closing our eyes affects our moral judgements

We experience emotion more intensely with our eyes closed

The simple act of closing our eyes has a significant effect on our moral judgement and behaviour. Eugene Caruso and Francesca Gino, who made the observation, think the effect has to do with mental simulation, whereby having our eyes closed causes us to simulate scenarios more vividly. In turn this triggers more intense emotion.

Throughout the study, Caruso and Gino concealed the true aim of the research from participants by telling them that part of the investigation was about judging the quality of head-phones. Participants were asked to listen to the rest of the study instructions through a pair of head-phones with a view to rating the sound quality. Crucially, half the participants were asked to listen to the different instructions and scenarios with their eyes closed - ostensibly to help their judgment of the sound quality - whilst the remainder listened with their eyes open.

Across the first three studies, the following effects were observed: participants with their eyes closed who heard a hypothetical scenario in which they deliberately over-estimated hours worked (so as to charge more) judged the act as more unethical than participants who heard the same scenario with their eyes open. Participants who heard the instructions for a simple financial game with their eyes closed subsequently shared money more fairly than participants who heard the instructions with their eyes open. And participants who listened to a hypothetical scenario with their eyes closed, in which nepotism and self-interest had biased a recruitment decision they'd made, judged that act as more unethical than did participants who heard the same scenario with their eyes open. Follow-up questions showed that the eyes-closed participants had visualised the scenario more vividly.

A fourth study was similar to the last except that some of the participants were given an explicit instruction to visualise the nepotism scenario as vividly as they could. This instruction led the eyes-open participants to judge the nepotistic act more harshly, similar to the eyes-closed participants. Overall, there was no evidence that the eyes-closed participants had simply paid more attention to the scenario than the eyes-open participants, but they did experience more negative, guilt-based emotion and it's this effect that probably underlies the study's central finding.

'Although scholars from different fields have provided important insights in understanding why people commonly cross ethical boundaries, little research has examined potential solutions that are easily implementable,' the researchers said. 'Here we identified a simple strategy: closing one's eyes, people are likely to simulate the decision they are facing more extensively and experience its emotional components more vividly. As a result ... people may be more sensitive to the ethical nature of their own and others' decisions, and perhaps behave more honestly as a result.'
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Caruso, E., and Gino, F. (2011). Blind ethics: Closing one’s eyes polarizes moral judgments and discourages dishonest behavior. Cognition, 118 (2), 280-285 DOI: 10.1016/j.cognition.2010.11.008

Leaving Taiping

taken in Club Med Bali


So I am leaving Taiping today. Came here to pay a visit to an old friend whom I've known in the travel industry for ages.

Found out a lot of things to discover in Taiping and everything is so refreshing. Too bad I didn't get a chance to go up to Maxwell Hill. Because I woke up late. :( Boo*

Not sure when I will ever come back to this little town again though.

Mee rebus at RM2. Only in Taiping.

recent rainbow plates

This winter has derailed me a bit. With the frequent snowstorms, and snowdays/snow delays, I'm making fewer trips to the market, and relying a lot more on what I have in my pantry and freezer. I'd venture to guess that this is the case in many of my CT friends' homes!! Still, we have to keep making meals two or three times a day, and the goal is to have them be healthful (and eaten), right? To inspire you, here are a few more "rainbow plates" plates from the past week.

Above (last night's dinner for the kids): carrots and edamame + chunks of pineapple + cherry tomatoes* + Rico M. Panada's empanadas (sweet corn & cheese and the chicken pot pie kinds).

*Note that I was thrilled when my little one asked for cherry tomatoes and popped a box in his little cart...I gave myself a little pat on the back for fabulous parenting. It was only at dinner time that I learned he "wanted to see if they really shoot juice if you squish them down hard?!!" [Deep sigh] At least he ate them after figuring this out.

And, those empanadas were a side another day alongside cups of homemade turkey chili (hauled out of the freezer) + carrots + edamame.

Those of you who are following on facebook got a sneak peek at these next three plates...

Black & Pinto Bean Cakes (with toppings of cheese, salsa and sour cream) + chunks of mango + edamame + carrots. (Yep, there's a trend around here of minimal side dish prep during snow days...)

There's also multi-tasking if I have had to make an app for one thing, and dinner for the kids....

Pinwheels of edamame hummus rolled in whole wheat tortillas + apples + shredded cheese (messy, but a crowd pleaser) + Clementines.

Jolie ravioli (broccoli & cheese) + marinara dipping sauce + a homemade chocolate chip cookie + carrots.

Baby Shower Planner/Checklist

Planning a party is fun and exciting! You start with a blank canvas and paint it with your own unique colour theme. However, there is so much to keep track off that you could easily get overwhelmed.



To help you plan your next amazing baby shower, we have designed a detailed baby shower checklist. It's also available on our Finest Expressions - Fan Page for your convenience.



Good luck planning and don't forget to check our adorable baby diaper cakes & gifts to add that special touch to your baby shower!

Next week we will post our top 5 baby shower planning websites. Stay tuned!

Charlotte's Beer

We're brewing a very unique beer today at The Bruery in honor of the newest member of the Famille Rue. Charlotte Rue was born 11 days ago to very happy parents Patrick and Rachel Rue and what better way to celebrate than with a monstrous beer.

The plan is to make this a beer for Charlotte to enjoy herself one day, so we are brewing what we're calling a "bourbon beer". In typical bourbon fashion, we are using a 51% corn mash and that, along with the other malts and sugars, we are hoping will bring this beer somewhere close to 23% or perhaps higher in alcohol. The primary reason we need the gravity on this beer to be so high is because we now plan on aging it in brand new, dark charred barrels for 21 years - ready to be drunk on Charlotte's 21st birthday. Over time, the beer should pick up flavor and color from the char in the same way as a good bourbon would and the final result will be a very strong beer tasting similar to a fine whiskey.

Like many of our beers, this is going to be an interesting experiment and you'll have to stick with us until 2032 to find out what the end result is. Sorry about the wait.

Romantic Intimate Gifts for Valentine's Day

Whether you are in a new relationship or you've been married for 30 years, it is important to keep the spark of romance alive. Romantic Valentine's Day and anniversary gifts keep that flame alive and glowing. Here are best romantic, intimate, sexy gifts for lovers on Valentine's Day. Read on...

Evil Neighbor's God

Yesterday as I was packing, moving up and down abouts the condo. I spotted that the evil neighbor's curtain was taken out for a wash (on purpose?).

And for the first time I had a clear view of what was placed in their living room.

The god figure under red spotlight...




So without a second though, I whipped out my camera and took a photo. You know, for reference. And as proof. Just in case.

Today I booted up my computer and uploaded the photo onto my desktop. On a 21-inch screen, everything became clearer. On closer inspection, it looked sort of like "bao gong" - 包公.




Now I'm not really an expert on gods, Chinese gods in particular. And even though I know 'bao gong' is not technically a god, but a noble judge in the Ming Dynasty. However that doesn't stop people from praying to his statue.

But for what I know the 'bao gong' I always knew sort of look like this, sitting patiently with both arms on thighs.

Like this.


'bao gong' image obtained from google.


Does anyone know what god this is then?




On a bigger perspective, none of these details matter really. Whatever he's praying to, or believe in, it made him a very very angry person. (Read here if you don't understand what I'm talking about here)

So angry that he had to resort to exert physical actions on his wife and daugther, and verbal abuse on his neighbors, and of course, setting curses on us. -.-


Oh well, it's one more day before we can finally move everything out.

God bless that evil man. However it turns out for him, and his family.


ps// someone helpfully suggested it's Guang Gong. Wasn't Guang Gong a warlord? Was that why he was so angry? ha ha lame joke nvm me.

Apocalyptic climate change warnings can be counter-productive

Many people believe implicitly that the world is fair, that bad things by and large don't happen to good people. When presented with evidence to the contrary, they ignore or downplay it. According to Matthew Feinberg and Robb Willer, this is exactly what happens when such people are presented with dire warnings about global warning.

Feinberg and Willer had 97 undergrads read one of two versions of a newspaper-style article about global warming and its likely consequences. Both articles began in the same way with findings reported by the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, but then one of them went on to describe apocalyptic consequences whereas the other was more upbeat and described potential technological solutions.

The effect of the articles on the participants' global warming scepticism depended partly on their strength of just-world beliefs, as measured at the study start (by their agreement or not with statements like 'I believe that, by and large, people get what they deserve'). Those participants with stronger just-world beliefs were actually made more sceptical about global warming by the more shocking newspaper article. By contrast, the more upbeat article reduced participants' scepticism regardless of the strength of their just-world beliefs.

A second study provoked just-world beliefs in some participants by having them de-scramble sentences that spelt out phrases such as 'somehow justice will always prevail'. Control participants also de-scrambled sentences but they weren't related to just-world beliefs. Next, all the participants watched a 60-second dire message video clip about climate change. It featured a train hurtling towards a child and children making tick-tock clock noises - the message being that future generations of children will suffer from global warming's consequences. After watching the video, the participants primed with just-world phrases reported more scepticism about global warming compared with the controls, and less willingness to change their own behaviour.

This is the latest in a string of studies that suggest fear-based messages can backfire if they clash with people's underlying beliefs. For example, morbid anti-smoking messages can actually encourage smoking in those for whom the habit is tied to their self-esteem. In relation to climate change, there's evidence that framing environmentalism as patriotic can be more effective than playing on people's fears.

'We believe that our findings should be informative for politicians and environmental advocates who are interested in understanding public reaction to climate-change research and advocacy efforts,' the researchers said. 'More generally, our research responds to recent calls for psychologists to become actively involved in the study of climate-change attitudes and behaviour and complements the small but growing body of insights psychology has contributed to this topic.'
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Feinberg, M., and Willer, R. (2010). Apocalypse Soon?: Dire Messages Reduce Belief in Global Warming by Contradicting Just-World Beliefs. Psychological Science, 22 (1), 34-38 DOI: 10.1177/0956797610391911

New Look To Our Facebook Fan Page

We just updated our Finest Expressions Fan Page to have a new Welcome Page and Profile Picture! We worked with Esty graphic artist, The Girl That Makes Banners to design the page. She was a delight to work with and guided us every step of the way.

Check it out and let us know how it looks!

New Diaper Cakes & Onesie Cupcakes Coming Soon!

Introducing the forthcoming Occupational Digest

The BPS Research Digest is proud to announce the pending birth of an offspring title - the Occupational Digest.

About the forthcoming Occupational Digest

The BPS Occupational Digest is a new blog and email produced by the British Psychological Society, reporting on psychology in the workplace. Building on the successes of the BPS Research Digest, it is funded by the Division of Occupational Psychology and aims to reach occupational psychology practitioners together with a wider audience who care about putting psychology to work, including HR professionals, managers, and anyone with an interest in the field. Subscribe to the Occupational Digest monthly email.

About the new Occupational Digest editor

Dr Alex Fradera is a Chartered Psychologist whose interest in human thought and behaviour runs back as far as he can remember. After a PhD in Psychology studying memory and cognitive ability, he made a move from academia into the practice of occupational psychology, taking a role at at the talent assessment organisation SHL. When not editing the Occupational Digest, Alex deals directly with clients as well as through a number of consultancies. Alex's other passion is improvisation, and he can be found putting it into practice in organisations, in training rooms, with scientists, designers, on stage, at festivals and in front of market stalls. Follow Alex on Twitter.

The Special Issue Spotter

We trawl the world's journals so you don't have to:

Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (American Psychologist).

Free access to the most read and most cited articles of 2010 in Developmental Science.

Special Issue: Celebrating 25 years of Applied Cognitive Psychology (Applied Cognitive Psychology).

Current issues and new directions in Psychology and Health: The potential contribution of health psychology to developing effective interventions to reduce tobacco smoking (Psychology and Health).

The Intersubjective Newborn (Infant and Child Development).

Developmental social neuroscience: An introduction (Social Neuroscience).

How reliable is our memory for our own previous intentions

Why did I buy this?

The fallibility of eye-witness memory is well documented. But what about people's memories of their own past intentions? This is an unexplored issue in memory research with real-life implications.

Consider the copyright infringement case in 2002, in which French composer Jacques Loussier sued Eminem, claiming that the track Kill You sampled beats from Loussier's work. Loussier further claimed that the success of the album was due in large part to the popularity of that specific track. Eminem's team responded by conducting a survey of people who'd bought the album in the last three years, only one per cent of whom stated they'd bought the album for the specific song Kill You.

The survey appeared to undermine Loussier's claim, but the trouble is that without any research on the topic, we don't know whether those survey responses can be trusted. Now a team led by Suzanne Kaasa and including Elizabeth Loftus has made a start on plugging this gap in the literature.

Nearly six hundred undergrads answered open-ended questions about why they'd purchased, downloaded or copied their most recently acquired album (the vast majority had acquired one within the last two weeks), and then they provided the same information again six months to a year later. The participants' answers fell into five main categories: because they liked the artist, liked the music, liked a specific song or songs, someone had recommended the album, or they needed the album for a specific purpose.

The key finding was that only one in five participants gave a consistent reason or reasons at both time points. The researchers had anticipated that memory for some reasons might prove more durable over time than others, but this wasn't the case. Overall, the most common form of change was simply to invent new reasons at the later time point. Sometimes participants also forgot reasons they'd mentioned earlier. Unsurprisingly perhaps, participants who recalled more reasons at the first time point tended to be more prone to forgetting reasons when quizzed again later. This was also true of participants who reported liking their CD more, perhaps because they'd felt less need to dwell on their motives at the time they acquired the album.

A subset of 82 of the participants also gave their reasons at a third time point, approximately six months to a year after the second time of questioning. Although still evident, changes in memory between the second and third time points were far reduced compared with between the first and second time points. This is important for real-life legal situations because consistency of answers across later interviews could be interpreted as a sign of memory reliability. 'It appears critical to have an accurate and complete record of the very first interview given by a witness,' the researchers said.

The study had some limitations, including the fact that the precise time between album acquisition and the first questioning session was unknown. However, the researchers observed that 'although individuals may not be able to accurately recall the reasons for their behaviours ... the real world continues to rely on self-reported motivations in a variety of circumstances, including police investigations and court proceedings.'
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Kaasa, S., Morris, E., and Loftus, E. (2011). Remembering why: Can people consistently recall reasons for their behaviour? Applied Cognitive Psychology, 25 (1), 35-42 DOI: 10.1002/acp.1639

Somewhere Wet, Somewhere Tropical

And because I'm going to spend the whole day today packing, and probably have no time to sit in front of the computer, here's a little sneak peak to where I'm going to blog next!

It's a little place I brought my baby to his second year's birthday surprise!





I've already gone through half of the photos, so the first post should be up pretty soon. Yay!

super simple, comforting baked rigatoni with spinach

I am thinking my friends in the Northeast-- or at least New Canaan-- are looking for a super simple, comforting meal this week. Between the snow, freezing temps, and school delays we moms are just about ready to snap. (OK fine, maybe I am only speaking for myself.) In any case, if you're looking for a comforting supper that can be whipped up in mere minutes then popped into the oven, this is a good one.

This recipe was one of the comments left on the table talk post. Janet said that this is one of her family's go-to meals, so I thought I'd try making it for my family last night. It was a hit and makes more than one dish, so you can freeze a few more meals for busy days (which is always a bonus in my book). Here's my version of this comforting meal. I went light on the pasta, heavier on the spinach and ricotta but you can modify the pasta to spinach ratio to your family's tastes, and choose to use real sausage, or other fillings as well:

Baked Rigatoni with Spinach & Cheese

(makes at least 12 servings, see pic below)

one 1lb box rigatoni, cooked according to package

2 lbs frozen spinach, thawed and drained
two 1 lb tubs ricotta cheese
4 eggs
10 frozen garlic cubes
10 frozen basil cubes
dried oregano
1 tube sun-dried tomato paste
1 package Italian Soy "Sausage" (4 sausages, rough chopped)*
three 26 oz jars pasta sauce
3 cups shredded mozzarella/Parm + extra for on top

While the pasta is cooking, in a large mixing bowl combine all other ingredients: ricotta, eggs, garlic, basil, oregano, tomato paste, sausages, and one of the jars of pasta sauce and a few hearty handfuls of shredded cheese, saving some to go on top. You can mix all three jars of the pasta sauce in if you want, but my bowl was getting full, so I just mixed one jar in and topped each of the baking dishes with a layer of sauce, and then some shredded cheese. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes or until warmed through and top is golden brown.

This will freeze perfectly. Simply wrap tightly (I do a layer of Saran wrap and then tin foil). When ready to cook, put the baking dish in the oven as it's heating up (to avoid shocking the dish with a temp change) and double the cook time, so bake it for 1 1/2 hours, covering with a bit of foil if the top starts to get too brown.

*my husband claims that I "should have just used regular sausage instead of the fake stuff". I thought it was delicious. You can make the call on that.

and the table talk winners are...

Good thing there's another snow delay so I can let the winners know before the school bus comes. Phew. (Note hint of major sarcasm as I watch the snowflakes outside coming down progressively harder and harder since I started counting the winners...)

Anyway, let's forget about this latest flurry and get on to official business. As chosen by random.org, the winners from those who left comments here were numbers 5 (Meredith) and 3 (Jennifer M). And from the Meals in a Snap FB page the winners are #12 (Ninorah Fernandes-Brookshire) and #163 (Elissa Ashwood). Note to self: counting up from the first "liker" in the FB page was sort of a logistical nightmare. Nothing two cups of coffee couldn't fix, but I'd love any suggestions you all may have for a more efficient counting system for the next give-away. (I have a few great books and an exciting ticket give-away up my sleeve!)

I am not sure whether each of you is local or faraway, so I will send you a message via FB to see where you'd like this little gift mailed! I hope it inspires some good conversations around your dinner table. Enjoy!

Extras

Eye-catching studies that didn't make the final cut:

The newborn infant: a missing stage in developmental psychology.

I can't believe this isn't wood! An investigation in the perception of naturalness.

Chemical signal in women's tears puts men off sex.

Meta-analyses of brain areas needed for numbers and calculations.

The role of passion in musical achievement - you need to make sure you have the harmonious variety rather than the obsessive kind.

A critical look at the research on psychological debriefing after stressful incidents. Past research suggests it can be harmful but this paper is sceptical. 'We call for reviewers to recognize the limitations of debriefing research and not to overgeneralize their conclusions.'

The disease of the moon: The linguistic and pathological evolution of the English term “Lunatic”

What do we infer about people from the style of their email messages?

Oops! If-then implementation plans with a negating style (e.g. If I am sad, then I won't eat chocolate) can back-fire increasing the to-be-avoided habit.

Exposure to the Confederate flag could have put people off voting for Obama.

Sex differences in dark side traits.

How much do US clinical psychologists know about online research resources?

Reward, dopamine and the control of food intake: implications for obesity.

Speech errors of amnesic H.M.: Unlike everyday slips-of-the-tongue - possibly one of the last studies H.M. took part in.