Showing posts with label Lame Jokes Attempt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lame Jokes Attempt. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Yes, please. Herpes first aid to go.

herpes handiplast


I don't know which is more worrying. The fact that herpes is that common, or the fact that herpes isn't that big of a deal anymore.

"Yes, daugther, you contracted herpes. Now go to the drugstore and get yourself one of those sticky thing. That'll solve everything."



And for chocolate lovers out there, fear not, 'loving' has come in a more convenient packet.

chocolate addiction condoms


Now you can taste better too during those intimate moments. Just pop these chocolate flavours condoms on for those chocolate additions you have.



And this is the fanciest Mcdonald I've ever seen.

fancy mcdonald
McDonald fonts in gold. Really?


This was spotted in the city I wanted you to guess.

Have you guessed where I was in the previous post yet?

Well I shall reveal it in my next post if you haven't already. It's not that hard to get, considering I've leaked out some info elsewhere by now.

Friday, August 5, 2011

The Red Collection

santa clothing line


I didn't know Santa Claus has his own clothing line.

Making toys must be a tough business these days.


Spotted - Madrid, Spain.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Chasing away your Monday Blues

Here's something random to start your way.

You've heard of this song - Dance to the Song.






Now repeating the chorus in your head

and look at this image of a little golden Jesus.


little golden jesus


Now do you feel little golden Jesus shaking its booty.

Oh yea Dance to this Song. *dance hippity-hop*


On with your Monday now.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Boss Hotel

I thought there was supposed to be a post uploading today, but turned out there wasn't. I've been putting on scheduled post for one week now since I hasn't been in the right mood to blog, and I knew that, so I prepared. Oh well, miscalculated.

I want to share with you one photo I've taken in HCMC.

I've heard of Dutch houses where they're long and narrow, but this is ridiculous.

boss hotel


Narrow? Yes.

Long? Well, yes.

Vertically.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Where is Father? Mathematical Question.

Saw this on a friend's facebook wall.
Just have to share. It's LOL.
(something in between while I blog about the third part of the surprise)


A mother is 21 years older than the child.
6 years from now the mother will be 5 times as old as the child.

Question: Where's the father?



(Give 10 minutes to think about it before scrolling down)


..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Got it?


The answer is...


The mother is 21 years older than the child.
M = C + 21

In 6 years from now the mum will be 5 times as old as the child.
M + 6 = (C + 6) x 5... See More

Hence,
C + 21 + 6 = (C + 6) x 5
C + 27 = 5C + 30
-3 = 4C
C = -3/4

The child is -3/4 years old, that is, it'll be born in 9 months.


Thus... by mathematical deduction,
Right now, the father is on top of the mother.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Most Expensive Place in Cape Town

Or of all of South Africa for that matter.

group jump
group jump! (from left: Niki, Mai, May and ME!)


Clifton

no doubt.

The most expensive house here in Clifton cost 90 million Rand (or USD 11.5 million , or RM38 million). It's not some mansion, just a really exquisite tastefully designed four bedroom masterpiece, that's all.

Clifton_main_final
designed by Stefan Antoni


Read about the housing rates here.

Beach front. Private. Celebrities as your neighbors.

What more can you ask for eh? It's like a tai tai's (rich man's wife) dream come true.


If you can't afford to live in Clifton.

Don't worry.

bringing mattress


Bring your own mattress and you're good to go.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Full Miss Tomato

One fine day morning in South Africa,

while waiting for our ride to head out to sea for another adventure, I ate a slice of watermelon after breakfast.


And thus... Full Miss Tomato was born.

comic
It has the word 'Full' because I was pretty full then.


We're going shark diving next!

comic 2


End of Tomato Story.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

No Shit Sign?

What does this sign say?

I spotted this South Africa and has been curious of its meaning. Does anyone know?

s sign



There's an S on it. A slash across it means NO. So.... No Shitting?



no shit sign


What? *acts innocent*


South Africa posts next!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Funny Facebook Chat

Yesterday I left my laptop on while I went to play on my mom's computer.

And because I was browsing my facebook at that time so when I left the laptop, my facebook page was left online just like that.

Half an hour later, my baby walked towards my laptop screen (I was still playing at my mom's computer) and asked me to come over to take a look.

Apparently there was a facebook chat opened left by someone on my facebook.

facebook
If you've ever experienced why I never reply your chat msg on facebook, now you know why. :p


And then my baby consecutively spoke out the words that was typed on my facebook chat.

funny chat



I burst out laughing!!!!



Ok? Ok?

No?

F U.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Oh man.. this joker is classic

What did I do to him?


Today I shall bring Chocolate to get an injection and perhaps her first grooming session ever since we got her. Does anyone know where I can find a pet shop that does cat grooming in Melaka?



ps// if you're going to scrutinise on why I never mask his name, well, I can't be arsed to. Besides, he swore at me, so why should I be polite? :)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Vodka Spray?

Back from Thailand and managed to catch one last day of Chinese New Year celebration with all my relatives before coming back to reality, and of course, this blog. Keke


Sorry I've been absent. But I bet so was everyone else.

How's Chinese New Year for you? Lots of Ang Pows?

Anyway, just a quick one.

Saw this really funky thing in Bangkok Airport yesterday.

vodka peach spray


It's a spray bottle of an Absolute Vodka Peach flavour! With test paper for you to spray on!

How quirky!

holding a vodka peach spray


I know the idea of letting people have a "smell" of the vodka flavour, but this idea of a perfume-style tester is just so cute!

peachy smell


I wonder if I can drink from it...

spray into mouth


er... I mean.. spray from it.

Kakaka

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Okay. Gonna go out to play mah jong with mom and brother.

Gimme back my RM35!!!! T_T

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Friday, December 11, 2009

Worst Name For A Shop

Was in Cineplex one day and I saw this outlet that has either the best or worst name for a shop.

fourskin


I can just imagine the shop salesgirl having this conversation with a customer: "what color of fore four skins would you like? We have brown, dark brown, light brown, black, white, yellow, beige, etc. We even have blue and green or red if you like, though not many people has or wear those colors. People normally prefer black and neutral brown."

I guess business wasn't that good. All fourskins were on discounts.

70% sale


Do you want to buy a "fourskin" today?

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Coffee with MILF?

You know you've done the Cu Chi tunnel tour in HCMC when you see this in your menu for lunch.

ice coffee with milf


Just coffee, thanks. You can keep your milf.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Fire Evacuation - Asian Style

And so with the last tour I left Tasmania, in fact I left Australia overall and flew further down South and found myself in New Zealand- the youngest country on earth.

hobart to auckland


Now on the first day, I met up with Amy, a reader from Auckland.

amy


She brought me to Sylvia Park, the biggest family mall in Auckland at the moment, for a walk about and to catch some lunch.

nicolekiss in brown
Choice outfit of the day. It was rather chilly.


We settled for The Coffee Club (a franchise from Australia) at the mall and simultaneously ordered our food. We were soooo hungry!

eating in coffee club


Then just as we submitted our orders, waited for 15 minutes. And large delicious plates of food were served in front of us.

As just as plates touched the table, and us barely have time to even lift our forks, a loud siren went off, booming through the mall and into our restaurant too.

It was the fire alarm.

"You GOTTA be kidding me?!" I thought.

At first everyone was stunned. No one moved and no one knew exactly what to do.

Then the manager of the restaurant walked out, looked around, and as if suddenly decided to finally act out his authority, he made the final decision while everyone was lost.

He informed all his staff and then announced that we have to leave the building.

It was all so calm. Everyone got up and walked out slowly, following the large crowd that were flowing toward the back-entrance of the mall.

leaving the building


While following the crowd like a good little foreign citizen, I glanced back and this was what I saw.

fire drill escape


Did you see what I saw?

The three girls on the picture were customers earlier at the restaurant sitting next to our table.

And in their hands..

food in hands


were food!!

Their food came just minutes before ours! And when the alarm went off, they took the chance to hand picked all their food from their plates and walked out of the restaurant following everyone like it's the most normal thing to do.

And I can bet my good penny that they won't be returning to the restaurant any time soon.

Least to pay for their food?!


You know, this is the reason why so many people in the world scrutinize us Asians. We do things like this!! (Or some of our other counterparts of equal skin color)

Many Asians take the goodwill or the better welfare of people and society for our (their?) own benefit, or in this case, taking advantage of situation during the extreme moments.

But then so do a lot of other people from other races. We tend to stereotypes. Can't blame us for doing so.


And if you think that's bad. Wait till you see this middle age lady.

asian aunty eating out of plate


Oh yes. You're looking alright.

She was sitting in the restaurant earlier, and even more champion, instead of taking advantage of free food, she took our her entire plate. So to make she didn't leave any salad or fries behind.

You would think she could be any more subtle. But NOOOO~~~~

getting a free meal


She was carrying the plate around, eating happily, in public's view!

everyone standing outside


And then she proceeded to sit down next to what was presumed to be her husband.

husband and wife alike


Yep. If you want to steal food and eat, eat in comfort.

Find a nice little sidewalk and sit there under the chilly autumn morning to eat your sandwich.

sitting around


Then you would probably think: "Oh, the husband would be so embarrassed and maybe ushered her to stop this kind of shameful act. And either to, advice her on the spot and pretend that he didn't know her OR ask her to finish the food as quick as possible and leave."



WRONG AGAIN!


husband and wife eating


The husband ate with her.


Awe... so romantic. Sharing the same plate outdoor. NOT!

blow face
Me pouting with the shameless couple in the background.


Now if you think that's reasonable till now. After all, the food was going to go to waste anyway. The restaurant will throw those food out one way or the other when everyone left. So why waste good food?

Right?



You'll be amazed.

After scraping all their food clean, the woman stood up, with some salad left on the plate.

Walked to the other end of the sidewalk.

Where a bin stood.

Tilted her plate and let the salad fell into the bin.

And walked in the other direction, AWAY!!!!

WITH THE PLATE!!!


While everyone was walking back toward into the building.

walking back in to Sylvia Park mall


Seemed like it was a false alarm, either that the chaos has been settled.


So I did the only thing a blogger would do at this occasion.

During such a fiasco with such an incident.


I squatted down.

Smile.

And point.

sitting next to greedy aunty


Say cheese!


shhh... don't tell her. She still doesn't know.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Tasmanian Ads

Things you'll read in a Tassie's Newspaper classified/advertisement section.

iphone pink cover


Dude! If I were you, I would just keep it!

Why bother pay for an ad space to return it. The owner probably had already bought a new one. -.-

But then again, if I a dude, and a lame one at that, I probably wouldn't need a PINK Ipod cover and WOULD pay for an ad to meet a said owner who could be a pretty blonde and use it as an excuse to her my girlfriend

Then again, I'm not lame. Nor am I a guy. Thank god.


Opps. It's a lost Iphone Cover. Haha. Read wrongly.

But really, what are the chances that the person who might pick up the over would read that section of the paper.

Do you believe in fate?


Then you flip the next page and you see this.

pretty thai ad


38D.

Mmmmmm....


Wait a minute?

QUICKIE?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Bordering Luggage Weight Limit

You know that you travel too much when you are getting really good at hand-measuring your luggage weight.

Some budget domestic airlines in Australia, like Jetstar, have a weight limit of 20kg per person.

So I packed and measured my luggage bag briefly in Jerine's apartment before we left for Tasmania Airport.


Thinking" It shouldn't weigh more than 20kg."


Arriving at the airport, I hulled my bag onto the weighing machine at the check-in counter,

the meter showed...

luggage weight


Man I'm GOOD!

I think my weighing machine at home has just lost it's remaining purpose.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Advertisement War Between Audi, BMW, Subaru and Bentley

It certainly is competitive in the automotive industry. There are simply too many choices for consumers, they range from qualities, sizes, powers and go all the way toward brands.

In Germany, the big guys that are competing harshly between one another will be Mercedes, BMW and Audi.

In Malaysia, the 3 mentioned brands promote quality, luxury and the ability to put a big hole in our pocket. Certainly, these 3 companies earns big, and yes, BIG! Guess where they spill their Benjamin’s?

I mean, they have SO much extra money (from all the overpriced cars? They have to have!), they didn't hesitate for a second on their marketing and advertising schemes.

1


Audi thought they could get away with an ad that kicking BMW's bottom by being cheeky

2


But BMW bagged the final "move"

3


Classic. Nice.


BMW got friskier and they've gone bonkers in Moscow with this huge Billboard that stretched along the city,

5


I shit you not, they even put real cars on it, not just any car, but their whole “M” range cars!

6


Would love to nick one of those up there!


We all thought that it would end right there.

But NOOOO, Audi decided to spice things up. On with the war:

7


BMW wasn't going to sit back and relax

8


Then Subaru decided to interfere with the Germans riots,

9


Chairman of Bentley thought that whole fiasco amusing that wanted to join in the fun.

I thought he nailed it.

10



[Sources]:
1. BmwBlog
2. AutoBlog
3. EatLiver